I have been in love. I still am. I think. I use to be one of those people who thought teenagers claiming to be in love was just stupid. You're too young, you don't know what you want yet, you know how it goes. Now I happen to think teenage loves can be the best loves. You're young and open minded and everything is new. Yes, they don't last forever very very often, but while they last, they can be amazing.

I am about to turn 18 in June. I fell in love when I was 17. October 2008. I already really really liked this boy...then, after ALMOST getting together and then his ex girlfriend deciding to win him back told him lies about me AND herself, he went to her again. That hurt, but we moved on. His girlfriend, and I am saying this because it is true, was a little bit CRAZY, and he found that out pretty quick. And I forgave, though it still hurts to this day, and on October 15, 2008, we became a couple.

And now...I don't know what to do. We were together for seven months. And those seven months were the happiest and saddest of my life. Once the honeymoon phase ended...we fought like cats and dogs. And now it's decision time for me. I can either move on from my first love, or stay with him and work through all this. And so...I'm turning to Xanga for advice on what the heck a stupid little 18 year old girl who loved a boy for 7 months should do.

I was never very strongly into religion. I think I am a mix of Christianity & Agnostic. This boy...is Christian Crazy. He wants to be a preacher. Which is great. But...

He won't date me if I cuss, which I find understandable and perfectly fine. The problem is, most of my friends cuss. Not in every sentence or anything, but cussing at all is wrong to him. And he says that I cannot be their friends. He wants me to stop talking to the girl who has been my BEST and closest friend for 8 years of my life, because she cusses. She is a strong Christian, even though she cusses. He says the fact she uses fowl language means she's not a good Christian at all. And I just don't think God thinks I'm a bad person for hanging out with her and others like her, and I don't think He thinks they're bad people either.

It's summer time. I like to swim. Except if I'm dating him, I am not allowed to go swimming. Swim suits and public swimming pools are not "modest," and he forbids me do it.

I am also not allowed to wear shorts that don't cover most of my legs, like, they can't be too far above the knee. I'm sorry, but I don't think wearing shorts makes you a whore. I understand dressing slutty. But I don't.

Also, no shirts that show my cleavage, or even too much of my chest. The shirt can be showing no cleavage at all but if he stands right in front of me, and since he's taller than me, if he can look and see down it at all, I'm not allowed to wear it. This includes tank tops.

He says the things these clothes show should be saved only for your future husband. I really do not think these clothes show that much unless your intention IS to show off EVERYTHING.

It's not just his religious beliefs. Also:

He says that when two people are commited to each other, they should be willing to do anything the other person wants. And he wants:

I am NEVER allowed to wear eye make up. He says I look prettier without it. Fine. That's nice. But I just don't think he should have the right to tell me I can never wear it. On my senior prom he treated me like crap for wearing eye make up. And for painting my nails. He doesn't want me to do that either.

No jewelry, except for his class ring around my neck. Any other necklace means I'm replacing his, he doesn't like holding my hand when I have rings on, and wearing bracelets means I'm replacing the bracelet he once bought me that got lost. And he just doesn't like earrings. So no jewelry for me.

He's 16. He says this is the way a relationship is supposed to be. I should be commited to him and completely willing to do all this and never complain.

But I'm a freakin teenager. I WANT to dress cute in the summer. Not slutty. Cute. I WANT to paint my nails and do up my eyes. I WANT to wear jewelry. I WANT to go swimming. Does that REALLY make me a bad person? Really?

We're trying to work it all out right now. Well, I am. He's not changing any rules. He says nothing he does is wrong. So it's all my decision. And I just really want to get other people's point of views. Is this normal???